Well I am told that in a few minutes I will receive what we all hope to be my last Intrathecal (via my brain resevoir) chemo treatment. This is good news. No-- great news. The risk of infection is so high that I am all for people no longer pricking my skull if at all possible. I won't get the resevoir surgically removed until after I am well and complete with all 8 rounds of chemo, so the half-horn look will stay with me for a few more months. Sorry, kids, I know it's scary.
I am hoping to get out of the hospital today and go home. Even though I still feel nauseous and queasy and tired and drained and yadda yadda yadda, it's a lot more fun to feel all that at home rather than in an institutional environment.
Staying here, even if only for a week at a time, has made me wish I had spent more time visiting my dad's mother in the nursing home before she passed away. She was there for many years and I feel like it must have been miserable stuck in the same bed, with the same horrible food, and the same pitiful, unchanging view. All she wanted to do was be taken outside for a walk, which I regret not doing for her more frequently.
Day 93 seems like a long time, I know. Easy to let life go on for those not fighting anything right now. But for me I assure you that every day is fresh and real for me and I don't have a way out just yet. Thanks for those of you who are hanging in there with me... I know it's getting long. Trust me, I feel it every day.
Our Brand Is Crisis (2015)
8 years ago
12 comments:
It's hard to believe that it's been 93 days.
Wow.
Blessings on you, as always.
Day 93. Wow. I feel like this means you are close to the finish line. We will walk next to you until the end Stu!
Hey buddy, I know what you mean. We didn't visit my dad's mom after moving back from the UK, so she never met her second great-grandson.
Just think how many days you'll be in remission... gonna keep up the blog then?
Another chemo down, yeah !! Looking forward to the day you write to us letting us know that chemo #8 is all done.
All the best to the two of you this week.
In the hopes that this will be one of that last posts in a long process, this has been one of the best blogs I have ever read. I don't really feel like I know you guys well enough to call, visit, etc, but I definitely read this every day. Thanks for caring enough to give back even when you didn't have a whole lot to give.
Stuart~
Thanks for being so faithful to your blog! I check in on you and Candace frequently.
I will keep praying...so thankful that you are in remission!!
I'm with ya babe.
Love you.
Hey brother -
Still praying for you and for your healing. God's peace be with you.
Patrick
Still here with you, man.
DH
By the way, I like the background you chose for your blog; the colored dots on blue. With your photo it looks like you are on "Larry King Live". Hey, I really like "Stuart Smartt Live" Yeah!
I know this seems like a horribly long time, each day takes every ounce of energy you have, BUT please remember that your treatment will end, your health will be restored, your hair will grow back more beautiful than ever, the days, months, and years will once again fly by, your life will get back to whatever the new "normal" is, you will never again sweat the small stuff because you've been through some pretty big stuff and will be able to tell the difference. I know about these things. I just celebrated six years of remission from non-Hodgkins lymphoma. You stay strong. You will get through this!!!!
Love ya and miss you man!
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