Video - Stuart and Candace 2009: A Journey

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So when my best friend turned 40 this weekend, he had a great big party. It was amazing. It was a talent show, whereby all his friends would get up in front of the crowd about nearly 100 people and perform a song, video, dance, skit, act, or otherwise unique talent. The cake, the people, the food, the event-- everything was just delightful.

Well, toward the end of the party, I was caught completely off guard when the next video in the lineup started with my name on the screen... and a comment about my cancer.

Then, as I realized what was happening, my whole body went numb. And has been numb ever since. I've been at a loss for words to fully describe just how special this reverse-gift was to me. I had been tricked. They had taken all the chemo video footage, which I had never seen, and put together a chronicle of the entire experience.

What's more, they included some footage of our wedding day over six years ago. I have never seen video from our wedding -- so it was like getting married all over again. I melted when I saw Candace's expression as she walked down the aisle, with her late father.

So why would someone take a milestone birthday party in their honor, and devote all of their precious time preparing a gift for someone else at the party? I just don't understand this kind of selflessness.

This video manages to capture an entire year of emotion and healing in one sitting. I have lost count of the number of times I have watched it.

Shane and Kelle, you two are most thoughtful and dear to me and my wife. I love you so much.

I'm posting below my wife's response to this video, as it captures what my numbness has thus far precluded me from being able to articulate:

"It is 2 am and we just watched the video for the 5th time. We have cried and laughed and kissed and hugged. We are in awe...we keep saying, "I just can't believe it....I can't believe all this is on this video".

There are so many emotions - I can't even process them all now.

When you walk through something hard, you just walk through it. But, when you have a chance like this to go back and revisit that hard time - it takes your breath away.

How did we do that? How did we get through it?

The video did a beautiful job of answering that question.

God, family, friends, some tears and some laughter and our love for each other.

And then our wedding... wow. I think I was the happiest girl in the WHOLE WORLD! You can see it on my face.

And my dad - right there...walking, touching me, smiling. I crave so much to remember him - his walk, his smile, his sweetness. You gave me that tonight.

There are no words.

This is THE BEST gift anyone has EVER given us. EVER. There is no way we could ever outdo this one.

It has been a very sad week for us. Shoot - it's been a sad couple of months. I have felt forgotten by God...confused by Him...unsure of Who He is and why things happen...I have not felt him close in a while. But tonight - this video - reminded me.

It reminded me that He is close and He has a purpose and He is weaving a beautiful tapestry, a story of the Smartt's, that no one could ever imagine in their wildest dreams.

It reminded me that His glory and good will come out of all things.

I needed that. This filled a place in me that was very empty.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you....a million thank you's...

And all this on at YOUR birthday party.

We love you crazy Ortizs.
You bring life to us.
Thanks for being our friends and thanks for one great party."